You know that U2 song "...where the streets have no name...". I think Bono must have been thinking of Costa Rica. Even though it is only 2.6 miles as the crow flies to our church (which we can see from our balcony), the driving distance is about 10 miles and takes anywhere from 15 to 35 minutes to get there, depending on traffic and rain.
Here are the directions to get there: take the road that the Marriott i
s on and when you get to the intersection at the Ribera shopping center turn left, making sure you watch all four (yes, 4 not 3) directions, since no one has a stop sign and almost (but not quite) everyone has a yield sign. Bear to the right at the top of the hill, and head to Panasonic. Turn left at Panasonic onto what everyone (everyone but the map makers) refers to as Lindora. Resist the urge to buy a battery charger for your cell phone from the guy prowling the intersection. Watch for motorcycles passing between cars waiting for the light to change. Follow Lindora past the pejibaye stands and over the Villa-something-or-other-ria bridge to the Forum office complex, and tu
rn right just after the bridge over the creek then left up the hill, curve to the right, head west on the marginal road next to the highway, turn left to cross the bridge over the highway, left again and now you are ready to enter the highway. Note that the entrance ramp also triples as a lane and an exit ramp, so make sure you watch for a) the guy going 80 and continuing on, b) the guy going 80 and exiting, c) the guy entering in front of you going 8, and d) all of the above. Enter onto the highway and stay in the left lane, since the buses use the right lane as a bus stop (unless you need to pass that guy going 8 in the left lane). Get off at the Guachapelin exit. (Extra points if you pronounced “watch-a-pill-een” correctly). You’re almost there, but now it gets complicated. Follow the exit ramp and turn left at the bottom. Pass under the bridge. Resist the temptation to turn right onto the exit ramp
from the highway, but turn right immediately after the ramp at the tall clump of weeds. Don’t expect to see the road you are turning onto until you’ve made the turn, since you are climbing a nearly vertical hill. For goodness sakes go slowly, because there are ALWAYS people standing in the road (the darker it is or the harder it’s raining, the more people). Don’t worry about their cars parked in the road, or in the ditch, or over the ditch (we can’t figure out how they got them there either). Focus on not hitting the people. Don’t gawk at the houses, wondering how anyone could live in such a dump, or what kind of business might be going on between the people in the street. Once the pavement ends, try to avoid the potholes (you won’t be successful) and continue on for another 100 meters. Turn left to go up what looks to be the north face of Everest, and turn left again into the church driveway when you see the open gate. Enter into the church and thank God that you have made it safely and ask that if it’s raining when you head back home (it will be) and they are working on the highway bridge again, that this time they might mark the lane closure correctly (unlike last time when they put the “right lane closed ahead” sign for a left lane closure – both ways).
Try reading the aforementioned directions all at once. If you are out of breath and confused when you finish, you have a good sense of driving in Costa Rica.
Here are the directions to get there: take the road that the Marriott i
s on and when you get to the intersection at the Ribera shopping center turn left, making sure you watch all four (yes, 4 not 3) directions, since no one has a stop sign and almost (but not quite) everyone has a yield sign. Bear to the right at the top of the hill, and head to Panasonic. Turn left at Panasonic onto what everyone (everyone but the map makers) refers to as Lindora. Resist the urge to buy a battery charger for your cell phone from the guy prowling the intersection. Watch for motorcycles passing between cars waiting for the light to change. Follow Lindora past the pejibaye stands and over the Villa-something-or-other-ria bridge to the Forum office complex, and tu
rn right just after the bridge over the creek then left up the hill, curve to the right, head west on the marginal road next to the highway, turn left to cross the bridge over the highway, left again and now you are ready to enter the highway. Note that the entrance ramp also triples as a lane and an exit ramp, so make sure you watch for a) the guy going 80 and continuing on, b) the guy going 80 and exiting, c) the guy entering in front of you going 8, and d) all of the above. Enter onto the highway and stay in the left lane, since the buses use the right lane as a bus stop (unless you need to pass that guy going 8 in the left lane). Get off at the Guachapelin exit. (Extra points if you pronounced “watch-a-pill-een” correctly). You’re almost there, but now it gets complicated. Follow the exit ramp and turn left at the bottom. Pass under the bridge. Resist the temptation to turn right onto the exit ramp
from the highway, but turn right immediately after the ramp at the tall clump of weeds. Don’t expect to see the road you are turning onto until you’ve made the turn, since you are climbing a nearly vertical hill. For goodness sakes go slowly, because there are ALWAYS people standing in the road (the darker it is or the harder it’s raining, the more people). Don’t worry about their cars parked in the road, or in the ditch, or over the ditch (we can’t figure out how they got them there either). Focus on not hitting the people. Don’t gawk at the houses, wondering how anyone could live in such a dump, or what kind of business might be going on between the people in the street. Once the pavement ends, try to avoid the potholes (you won’t be successful) and continue on for another 100 meters. Turn left to go up what looks to be the north face of Everest, and turn left again into the church driveway when you see the open gate. Enter into the church and thank God that you have made it safely and ask that if it’s raining when you head back home (it will be) and they are working on the highway bridge again, that this time they might mark the lane closure correctly (unlike last time when they put the “right lane closed ahead” sign for a left lane closure – both ways).Try reading the aforementioned directions all at once. If you are out of breath and confused when you finish, you have a good sense of driving in Costa Rica.
No comments:
Post a Comment